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Marriage myths and divorce

On Behalf of | Jan 30, 2018 | Family Law |

It is highly likely that California couples who are planning to get married hope to have a long and enjoyable union. However, it may benefit them to be aware of some of the common myths on which they should avoid basing their marriage and that may result in it ending in a divorce.

According to research, resolving marital issues using conflict resolution and active listening techniques are not necessarily effective. Active listening in particular is not scientifically proven to be able to save a marriage. Married couples should not be afraid to have loud disagreements, which occur even in marriages in which the couples are happy.

The personality flaws or vulnerabilities of either spouse are not the reasons why a marriage will end. Rather, it is how each party decides to address them while in the relationship. No one is perfect, and making a marriage work requires that both parties make allowances for the other’s flaws with affection, respect and care.

Another myth couples should be aware of is one that states that a marriage is always equal. In fact, having an unspoken agreement that every generous deed or word has to be equally reciprocated can result in feelings of resentment and frustration. Instead of maintaining a record of whether every good deed or word has been answered in kind, it is better to focus on positive feelings in order to have a happy marriage. Being a source of support for a spouse and providing conditional love can yield better and longer-lasting results in a marriage than keeping score.

Unfortunately, some marriages are destined to end in a divorce despite the best efforts of both parties. When this happens, their respective attorneys can often assist in negotiating a settlement agreement that covers the applicable legal issues.